Outro starts at: 16:40
Lyrics start at: 22:37

God I just hate it when people are applauding a plane landing

And stop complaining about your Dr. Pepper being too spicy

Why are you putting your dogs in strollers and kids on leashes?

But go right on ahead, take a "silly" picture

Enjoy your frozen yogurt and your missionary intercourse

I guess you're gonna be checking in on Facebook to a Vegan Sunday Brunch

Then after that, you're gonna go on some Wine Tours

Oh, looky there, you gotta redo your high fives because the first one wasn't good enough.

And why must you have Gluten Free Everything?

Why must you curse after a good yawn? Like, we get it, you had a good yawn. You didn't have to explain it to everybody with such an expletive.

Do you really need that large skinny soy mocha latte and your uggs with your white iPhones?

And why are you going all out for July 4th, yet calling flamboyant rainbow gays an eyesore? Look at yourself!

And by all means, go ahead with your cultural appropriation, y'know, over your cultural appreciation.

And I swear, some of you be romanticizing mental illnesses for attention.

I bet you're unironically using "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" as an adjective.

And since when was NASCAR a sport?

And how are you getting away with just about everything while people of color go to jail for holding a boomerang shaped like a gun?

And what's with these 30 day challenges and using the elp- the Yelp App as a threat?

And I understand wearing sandals, but do you have to wear socks with them too?

Do you seriously have to lock your car doors as soon as you see a person of color walking down the street minding their business?

But by all means. correct me on your percentage of White European heritage, y'know while not recognizing non-white heritage percentages. Like, I get it, you're like 50% English, 49% Irish, and then like less than 1% African. I get it. But some of these people are like 5% Chinese, uh, 17% uh Tambienese or whatever, y'know, they got like all these different like origin countries and everything and you're just like "Oh it's not white, I don't care", "Oh, how dare you offend me? I'm actually 59% Irish, thank you", like, who cares?

And of course, y'all would be the only people to get free food for complaining to corporate about a slight inconvenience

Yet you don't know anything about common spices

And what do you mean by "Am I ready to hit the road"?

And what's with vegetables and dental hygiene products for Halloween? What happened to candy? Like, I get it, candy is not healthy, and vegetables and dental hygiene, y'know, that is healthy, I understand that, but it's Halloween.

And why are you dressing dogs up like people? They're dogs, okay, no one cares.

And again, back to the Halloween thing, what's with the raisins? Why are you giving out raisins for Halloween? Or raisin cookies

And this whole thing about "Don't wear white after labor day"? What's up with that?

And finger guns?

And of course, let's not forget, that famous quote, "I'm not racist, I have a black friend", like, what is that supposed to mean?

See ya later, alligator!
After a while, crocodile!
I swear, that's like the whitest thing you could come up with...
Or, is two guys whipping into a fist bump in slow motion?

And crocs? Why crocs? Why do you wear crocs?

And to all of you that wear polo shirts and khaki shorts paying $20 a gram, you're getting ripped off my dudes.

And "Bowl haircut, with blonde highlights and sunglasses", yeah, you're... sigh, you're wrong. Okay? You're wrong. Just, you're wrong. Stop trying to ask for the manager.

And to the people that love to high-five other pedestrians as you're crossing the street, please, there's some of us that are just waiting to, like, y'know, get back to where we're supposed to be. Y'know, you're just holding up the line, y'know, you're wasting the green light, just go! Stop trying to meet and greet everybody.